Having Realistic Expectations for Yourself in Business
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00:04
Welcome to Doula Tips and Tips. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about Doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born, 12, nearly 13 years ago.
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I am a birth and postpartum Doula childbirth educator, La Leche League leader and a Doula coach. I love guiding and supporting Doulas as they work out their Doula business. It is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way.
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Thank you for joining us on this journey. Hello and welcome back to Doula Tips and Tips. I want to spend a few minutes today talking with you about having realistic expectations for yourself. And some people might say like giving yourself grace or giving yourself patience or like being understanding with yourself.
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One concept that I come back to frequently when I think about owning a business is being your own best boss. And in that, I think we can really set ourselves up for giving ourselves a lot of space when that is necessary.
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So I want to give you some kind of examples to consider because I don't know what space your life needs right now. But I do want you to give yourself permission to have some realistic expectations when life throws you some curveballs, right?
01:31
So I talked a couple episodes back about the fact that I was in a car wreck on the way to a birth back in September. And it was significant. Like it was traumatizing, I would say a bit. And I've been working through that trauma, but like pretty significant in terms of the impact on me energy wise and emotionally and physically.
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And so I would say I haven't felt 100% better since then because I have a little anxiety around driving, I have a little anxiety around getting an Uber or a Lyft, a little anxiety about going to a birth.
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And so it's not significant, it's not holding me back from doing the things that I need to do, but it is there, right? It makes everything a little bit more hard, a little harder, a little bit more work to get done.
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And so if I factor that into what I consider a realistic amount of work to get done, then I am going to have a lot better understanding of what my capacity actually is right now than if I don't factor that in.
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And one example of that is that when I attend a birth, if I miss an entire night of sleep, or if I miss most of the night of sleep, like my most recent birth, I got about two hours of sleep before I went to them.
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And then I was up for probably 16 hours. before I slept again. And so that kind of birth takes me at least four to five days to fully recover from it. In terms of sleep, right? I could legitimately just lay down and take a nap at any time, day or night, after that kind of birth for many days.
03:23
And so throughout the last week, since that birth happened about five or so days ago when I'm recording this, I have had a nap every single day at some point. And at first I got really frustrated with myself because it was like the time with family and my brother and sister -in -law and my niece and nephew were here visiting.
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My in -laws were here to share a meal with us on Thursday last week. And so when we're thinking about like, having expectations of ourselves, one thing that I was doing for a couple of days is waking up like really annoyed with myself and like apologizing to everybody.
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I'm so sorry I fell asleep. I didn't mean to take such a long nap, you know. And then at some point I was like, it's realistic that I'm very tired. It's understandable that I'm super tired. It makes sense that my body needs a break.
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And I have to just let that be my reality right now because I can't fully participate in all the other things. If I'm constantly trying to push myself through being tired and not giving myself that space, right?
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And so what I want you to kind of think about is what things are happening in your life at the moment. Just for the frame of reference, I want this moment to be kind of what you're thinking through that you need to bring into consideration when you're considering your capacity.
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So maybe that's like illness, right? My kiddos, two of my three have a cold right now. And that changes our week, that changes our days, right? It has an impact on the family. Maybe that's like family, emotional or social issues, right?
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Maybe that's travel, maybe that's another job that you have, maybe that's your own mental health or physical health. So when you're thinking about the things that have an impact on you and your work, it should be all layers of your life.
05:29
And then have some space for that, right? And what I mean is kind of set yourself up where you have more productive days and less productive days, which is okay. Like that's naturally how things are gonna go in your business.
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And so part of that is giving yourself space to be in that less productive time and also seizing the moment when you're having a more productive time and helping yourself. Get a lot done so that you can handle the next low productivity time that comes up And so in your own business the unique thing about it is that you're not just showing up like 9 to 5 like in you know some corporate jobs Where you're like okay 5 p .m.
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I just like clock out and head home and I realize that's not many people's reality and other professions But if you're like okay I just have to be here for eight hours and then when when my time is up my time is up and I get to be home and Completely take that out of my brain.
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That's not the case with your own business, right? There's literally something to be done at all times and that can run you rag it if you don't give yourself space to not Get stuff done and it's hard to do it is really hard to give yourself time to rest and to give yourself time to have a crappy day and To give your family time to be sick and not have it ruin your whole week, right?
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And so I really want you to consider that especially as we're wrapping up this year Reflect on that like have you done a good job of letting yourself Be where you need to be this year. Have you done a good job of giving yourself space to heal?
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Emotionally and physically when things have happened Have you done a good job of prioritizing your own health and well -being as you've gone through this work that? Automatically has you pouring out so much of yourself to others?
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And really take time to consider that and how you can do that better in the coming year, right? Because All of our expectations of ourselves need to be based in reality But not only that they need to be the most generous Loving wonderful expectations that anyone could give them like we should be our own biggest fans and Therefore our best supporters, right?
07:55
And so I really I want you to take some time to consider that If you aren't already on the news newsletter. There is still time to jump onto the newsletter and get an invite for the planning session that I'm having.
08:07
I'm not giving you more details than that because it is only something I'm inviting my newsletter folks to. So if you're not yet a subscriber, there is a link in the show notes to do that. I would love to have you subscribe.
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You'll get twice a month emails from me and occasionally an email about a workshop or a class. I do not spam you with stuff that you're not getting an email a day from me. And so I want you to just not miss out on this awesome planning opportunity.
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If there is something about this podcast that you have loved, I would also really appreciate you leaving a review. It is super helpful for other people to have reviews to look at when they're trying to find podcasts to listen to.
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And so taking a few moments to do that today would be really, really beneficial to me and my business and I so appreciate that about about you. And I will see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Doula Tips and Tits podcast.
09:08
If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us @Harroddoula so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful, we would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast app.
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That helps other Doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business.
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We'll see you again soon.
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The last couple of weeks we have been talking about making and thinking about goals for the next year. Let’s also talk about giving yourself grace when creating these goals and making them attainable. Here's to a year of setting realistic goals and crushing them!
Quote from the show:
“So when you're thinking about the things that have an impact on you and your work, it should be all layers of your life. And then have some space for that, right? And what I mean is kind of set yourself up where you have more productive days and less productive days, which is okay. Like that's naturally how things are gonna go in your business. And so part of that is giving yourself space to be in that less productive time and also seizing the moment when you're having a more productive time and helping yourself. Get a lot done so that you can handle the next low productivity time that comes up And so in your own business the unique thing about it is that you're not just showing up like 9 to 5 like in you know some corporate jobs.”
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
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If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
