Off Call Time During the Holidays As a Doula
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00:04
Welcome to Doula Tips and Tips. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about Doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born, 12, nearly 13 years ago.
00:23
I am a birth and postpartum Doula childbirth educator, La Leche League leader and a Doula coach. I love guiding and supporting Doulas as they work out their Doula business. It is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way.
00:36
Thank you for joining us on this journey. Hello and welcome back to Doula Tips and Tips. Excuse my voice. At the time of reporting this, I am a little bit hoarse. So just ignore that. Today's episode is about setting expectations for yourself, your clients and your family.
00:56
Now, the reason I want to talk about this is that when this is being released, we're coming up on the Christmas holidays, the winter holidays. And what can sometimes happen is that babies, of course, interrupt things that are actually incredibly important to us, right?
01:12
And as Doulas, I think it's really important for us in and how we're going to set boundaries around that. So let's say you're someone who has a Doula client who's due around one of the holidays that you celebrate.
01:29
And you have decided, okay, that holiday day, I'm going to spend with my family. So what does that mean if your client goes into labor? So here are a few things. One, you need to decide that in advance, because it's not fair to your client to not know that you're unwilling to attend a birth on whatever holiday it is.
01:49
So I had a client recently who was due close to Christmas time. And I of course have people do in January. And I'm And so one of the things they asked me when they were hiring me is, are you willing to come to a birth on Christmas or Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve or New Year's Day?
02:10
And so at that moment, that's when I get to disclose whatever my boundaries are. So if I say, you know, I will not attend a birth on Christmas Day, but I have a backup, like a dedicated backup ready and willing to come.
02:26
Then your client gets the chance to decide to actually book you still or not. And I actually have an example of this. That's not a holiday that I want to share because I think it's a really important part of business.
02:41
And the reality is it also kind of fits in with not coming to this work with a level of desperation. So I recently had an interview with a couple that I feel like would have been like an amazing fit.
02:53
Like I would have loved to work with them. And also, they're due in March. And in March, I have the absolute honor of going to support my sister out of town with her baby. And so there's a 10 day period that I'm just not even here.
03:14
And so if someone hires me in March, they are very aware of that timeframe. They're aware of when I'm gone. They're aware of who is on call instead of me. And that's something that they get to factor in into their decision making about whether to hire me.
03:30
So this particular couple, I talked to them, we got along really great. They were also referred to me by their doctor who really loves me. And so we would have been an amazing team. And also at the end of the day, they said, you know, I think it like makes us just too nervous to have you out of town so close to our due date.
03:54
And ultimately I said to them, I think you should be very proud of yourself for deciding that because the reality is that if it's going to make you nervous, the entire time we're working together, that is not helpful for this process for you, right?
04:09
And so it's better for you to find someone that feels like a good fit. Cause let's be honest, I'm not the only great doula in the DC area. Everyone knows that, right? So I'm not the only person that's gonna feel like a good fit.
04:20
And I was able to send them some names of people that I recommend that they talk to. And say, you know, I think that you should be really proud of yourself for making that decision and deciding that it made you a little too stressed out to know that I was gonna be gone and to really feel like you wanted me there, but you were nervous that I wouldn't be there.
04:39
And I think that is how that should be managed because the reality is I am going out of town to support my sister, period, right? And I'm going to put her in front of a client because she's my sister.
04:53
And so if something happens, something comes up and I need to stay longer, I need to go sooner, like whatever. I'm going to do what I need to do to support my sister and the reality is that it is only fair to my clients that they know That that could potentially have an impact on them and that they're okay with that When they sign up with me for services, okay?
05:16
Now on the flip side, let's say I was just like, oh it's spring break week and I want to like be with my kids Right and I'm gonna not attend births during that week In some ways, it's easier to say I'm not gonna be here like I'm gonna be out of town, right?
05:32
I'm gonna be like in another state. I cannot come to your birth It's harder to say I'm here, but I'm not attending births on these days and honestly That's something that I have had to work hard at over the years because it is very Challenging for me to be like yes, but if you go into labor on that day, I'm gonna send someone else to your birth Because I really don't like doing that I like my own people being my people, not giving them off to another doula.
06:03
But also, I would also be anxious about that time and not like really rest during that time because I'd be like, oh gosh, what if that baby comes? You know, and so it is something that is a muscle that we have to kind of flex if that's hard for you.
06:18
Now some people find that very easy and I honestly envy the ease of that for you. Like if it's easy to be like, I'm off call on my kids' birthdays, on my anniversary, on holidays, whatever, then that's amazing.
06:33
I have a very hard time doing that. And also have a hard time deciding which days to be off because for instance, holidays is one thing, but kids' birthdays, for instance, my kids' birthdays might be like a school day, right?
06:50
So it's not so much the day of their birthday that I wanna be off call. It's more like what day are we having their birthday party, right? And we don't necessarily know that nine months in advance. So I think it can be a little bit tricky as you're kind of setting those boundaries.
07:06
However, around the holidays, we know days that the holidays fall on. We know when family might come to visit. We know when kids might be out of school or whatever else is going on. And I think it's really important to, as doulas, to work ahead in our calendar and really pick out some days that we are going to be off and then guard those with our lives, right?
07:32
Like really make sure we are actually off during those times and to the extent that you're able, share that with your clients in advance. I think it's really unwise and very anxiety producing to share very last minute that you're gonna be out of town.
07:51
I have had a few scenarios where something came up with my family or... an illness happened or something like that. Actually, this same sister, when she had her first kiddo, she went into labor early, and so I had to leave town before I was planning to.
08:08
So there are some scenarios like that, right? Where it's like, okay, my plan was, you were gonna have your baby, and then I was gonna leave town. But the reality is my sister needs me now, and there's a scenario happening with her that warrants me leaving sooner, and that means you're getting a backup unexpectedly, right?
08:28
And so I think there is a bit of that that we can't control. But also, I think there is some that we can build into our schedule and feel really good about it. If you go to like a small business, and they have a sign on the door that says like, we're closed on MLK Day to celebrate or to commemorate his life or whatever, then, you would not probably be like, that is so inconvenient.
08:55
I really need to shop on that day. Like why are they closed that day, right? And I get that doula work is different than that. Like I understand you don't have like a store that's open from eight to three or whatever.
09:09
But also I think the more we treat this work like it's the business that it is, the easier it is to set some healthy boundaries and to say, okay, when I have someone go into labor, the next day I cancel things if I haven't slept, right?
09:26
Like I cancel a postpartum shift. If I've been at a birth all night, why because it's important for my body to recuperate. And that postpartum shift can be done at another time, right? And I think that's also a piece of honoring yourself and your limits and then therefore setting yourself up for sustainability.
09:45
So that's my two cents on this. I really do, I really encourage you to look at 2024 and pick out times that you are going to be off call. Now it could be that you have months that no one is due. That is my plan for 2024.
10:04
I am not gonna have any clients due in July or August because I'm gonna go on vacation with my family. I'm hoping to go on vacation just with my husband maybe. I'm hoping it's just to go swimming every day with my kids, like my kids and I really love to go to the pool.
10:23
And so that is how I wanna spend my summer, right? And I'll still work, I'll still do some postpartum care. I'll still coach doulas, I'll still do my podcast, right? But I also will set myself up for like good sleep in the summertime and good time with family and friends and things like that that otherwise can be a bit unpredictable and that also makes my year feel more sustainable knowing that I have these chunks of time of rest and recuperation and not just constant work.
10:58
Now, I want you to stay tuned for a money mindset class that is coming in January. You're gonna hear the details about that in the next episode. And so I would love for you to sign up for that so you can start your January off on a really good foot in terms of sustainability and package pricing for the year of 2024.
11:24
All right, I will see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Doula Tips and Tits podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at heraDoula so we can celebrate alongside you.
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If you found this podcast helpful, we would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review. on your favorite podcast app. That helps other doulas find us as we do this work together.
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This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business.
12:08
We'll see you again soon.
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How many of us are people pleasers here? I know that the holiday season can make it hard to say yes to too many things and push aside your plans and time with family to be at birth or take that client call. Today let’s talk about how to make sure you have that time with family and how far in advance you should let your clients know.
Quote from the show:
“So this particular couple, I talked to them, we got along really great. They were also referred to me by their doctor who really loves me. And so we would have been an amazing team. And also at the end of the day, they said, you know, I think it like makes us just too nervous to have you out of town so close to our due date. And ultimately I said to them, I think you should be very proud of yourself for deciding that because the reality is that if it's going to make you nervous, the entire time we're working together, that is not helpful for this process for you, right? And so it's better for you to find someone that feels like a good fit. Cause let's be honest, I'm not the only great doula in the DC area. Everyone knows that, right? So I'm not the only person that's gonna feel like a good fit.”
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Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
