Showing Up Authentically In Your Doula Business
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Transcript
Welcome to Dula Tips and Tits, the podcast where we cut through the noise and get real about what it takes to build a sustainable doula business. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been a doula informally for 14 years and full time for seven.
Around here, we don't sugarcoat stuff. We talk autonomy, owning your worth, creating a business that works for you. No fluff, no burnout, just the honest truth on how to be your own best boss. Let's get into today's episode.
Hello and welcome back to Dula Tips and Tits. Today's episode, we're diving into a little bit of what to do when shit hits the fan and you just feel a little off because this has been a weird week for me.
And so I'm kind of inviting you into that space with me. So as I'm recording this, it is May 13th. So you're, you're getting this live the next day. Um, today was supposed to be a day that I had a workshop and you've heard me talk about it, you've seen ads for it.
You've seen, um, you know, the beginning of the podcast talks about it. So, um, if you haven't signed up for that, go ahead and do that. There's still time because I moved it to next Tuesday. Hopefully of course babies and whatnot help that continue to happen.
But, um, part of what I want to talk about is why I moved it and also what the unpredictability of this life can mean for us, right? So, um, I want to start by saying last week I had two scenarios. One was I had a client go in for an induction.
This particular client has a history of stillbirth. So there's a lot of trauma involved there and lots of layers there. Um, I also was supposed to teach a class that night. So I was trying to figure out the logistics of that.
Like, was I going to have a sub for the. class or was I gonna have a backup for my client and whatever things gonna be in the labor blah blah blah and that birth ended up being very very long and emotionally you know a lot to support and also like quite a bit of troubleshooting and figuring out what the baby was doing and you know and just altogether hard right and of course hardest for my client but it was a hard birth to support as a doula as well and I had a dear friend who's also a doula who was able to come for two hours and kind of labor sit like hang out with my client while I taught my class and then she was so gracious to do that they adored her they felt very well supported so all of that like went well right but it it because it went long it meant that I had to cancel two prenatal visits and postpartum shift so that's like you know eight hours worth of work that got canceled and then I was with them for like 37 hours.
And then of course came home and slept for many hours. So the like disruption to life was like four days long. Then over the weekend, I had a really awesome Meet the Dula event at a birth center that I love in Virginia.
I got to meet some amazing doulas who I have never met in person. I got to see some doulas who I haven't seen in a long time. And just, I mean, you know how special it is to get to have quality time with doulas when you very rarely have FaceTime with them.
And you got to meet some pregnant folks, but like for me, I think the biggest thing was meeting the other doulas. And I heard that from a few other people. Like the doulas were kind of like, we'd love for pregnant people to come, but also mostly we want to get to know each other and that's why we're mostly here.
So that was lovely, but it was long. And after that long birth, it was like a lot to prepare for that, get my things ready for my little table I was gonna have there and get up really early so that I could shower and get ready and then go get all my stuff together.
And so it was a long day, right? I got home and then my husband and daughter went to go shopping to get some stuff for Mother's Day, which was lovely. The night before that we had gone out late because my oldest turned 15 this weekend and we wanted to take him shopping and find him some new shoes for his birthday outfit because that's a whole thing freshman year apparently.
I mean, I think all of teenage years, but it was more of a thing this year than it has ever been in the past. And so Sunday we went to church to see a friend and then went to lunch with that friend. And my son, my oldest son who turned 15 and had some alone time with his friend, like got to hang out at the house playing video games and stuff by himself there.
with his friend and then we came back saying happy birthday, ate cake, and he and my other son and my husband and their friend went to the movies. So it was like a whole, it was a whole thing, right?
It was a, it was a long weekend. Also then I got to enforce homework time with my youngest, which was lovely as you can imagine. So I say all that to say. Um, sometimes I feel like today I feel just like beat down.
Like I am so exhausted and I spent 37 hours in a room with some Pitocin flowing. And my theory is that that makes me feel very much like my periods coming on and it might be coming on. Like it's hard to tell.
I'm not super regular, so my body just feels a little funky sometimes off and on and I don't always know what's happening. So there's that and then emotionally Like my oldest kid turned 15, you know?
And that's a lot. And then teenagers come with a lot of desires, like very strong desires to own different things and to have different things and to immediately be and do whatever you'd like to do and be and whatever.
And it just is expensive and also frustrating. And if you're not a parent to a teenager, I don't mean to scare you. There are some really lovely things, but it's a lot, right? Emotionally, it's a lot.
And so today I sort of was like, I don't know why I feel so funky. And my husband's like, you didn't sleep for like a day and a half last week. And then we've had a lot happening, like for a family that lays low on the weekends, unless I'm teaching a class, like we don't run around all weekend doing stuff, right?
So that's not how we live our lives and that's how we lived this weekend and that is unusual for us. So he was kind of like, yeah, you've been like doing a bunch of stuff and then you had your client give birth and you had to figure out having a backup and that was a big deal.
And then you're like sorting through things with your own feelings about our oldest being 15, you know, like he was basically like, of course you feel a little off, you know? Like, yeah, naturally. And, you know, I think as doulas, like we don't learn to siphon out what's actually happening emotionally for ourselves, right?
Like I think it's something that we don't always carve out time to do. And honestly, even just carve out time to like sleep, you know, like to say, I'm tired today and I have a whole day that I could be super productive and get a bunch of stuff done or I could rest and like paint my fingernails, which is what I did, you know?
and eat and like cry a little if I need to. I mean like truly just give myself some time. And I think that that is necessary in order for us to be able to continue sustainably with our business, right?
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Remember to use the code tips and tits to get 10% off, and now we'll go back to our episode. One of the things that I never want to do on this podcast is come on here like I have all the stuff figured out because I don't.
But also that like even with a lot of things figured out, there aren't days like this, right? Because there are. There are days like this. As long as we live life, there are moments like this. And it doesn't mean that everything is bad, right?
It doesn't mean, you know, I'm going to throw the whole thing away. What it does mean is that there needs to be space built into our life and business to recuperate, recover from both the work that we do, but also from our actual life.
And being able to look at what's necessary and what's not necessary and kind of way that is evenly as possible. That is important, right? And it's easy to be like, oh, the birth was long, the birth was hard, maybe I'm burning out.
But I mean, it's also just like a really hard time altogether, like hard, a birth, a hard, you know, weekend, not hard and bad, but just exhausting, you know. And so there's like so many different layers that we can hold at the same time.
And it doesn't have to mean our business needs to be burned to the ground. So, I think when I, when I think about this, and the reason I wanted to kind of share this with you today is that I want you to think about what comes next in the midst of a day like this, right?
What comes next when you're like, I'm exhausted. You know, what comes next when you're feeling down, when you're tired, when your kids aren't listening, when you do look clients, are all trying to go into labor at the same time, right?
Like all those layers that are so tricky about our job, like how do we reorganize ourselves in our brains and our bodies and our work to be able to keep going? And I think it's important to start from a place of not having it all figured out, like that's okay, right?
None of us get to a place of knowing absolutely everything. Now, a lot of things. get easier in business. Like, part of my mission behind my coaching is to make doula life easier, more sustainable, more successful, more financially stable, right?
Like, those are three, four of my, I think that was four things, of my most important aspects of the coaching that I do, right? But never does that mean that I am doing everything perfectly or that you need to do everything I'm doing or that I have figured everything out.
That's just not how life actually works, right? And I think if we have sort of a looser expectation of ourselves, that gives us space to breathe a bit, right? I think so often about one of the things that I say to doula clients is like, go into labor with some curiosity.
Like, let's be curious about your labor. Let's be curious about how it will go. Let's be curious about how it will progress. Let's be curious about how things will feel, how you'll feel as you do it, right?
How you'll like different comfort measures. Like, let's listen to the process and learn as it comes and be open to what it looks like. And I think in business, we also have to do that because we don't always have the luxury of being like, oh, Friday's my day off, you know, because to be fair, like, there's always something you could do for your business.
And so do we give each other time off or give ourselves time off? Not very often, right? And so knowing when to say like, you know what, today, my brain and body need for me to do nothing. Like I watched two Harry Potter movies today and painted my nails.
And I did respond to some emails and like work on a few things. I've recorded a podcast, you know, but I didn't get a lot of stuff done. And that's okay. like that's that's how I needed to show up for today and that doesn't mean my business is going to flounder in the meantime right so I just want to be kind of an encouragement slash example to you of of what it looks like to show up as a real person in the midst of your business and give your body and brain space to be who you are and to feel what you're feeling and to be really loose and flexible with that I would also love to know how are you like really how are you doing because life is hard and and 2025 has been hard for many people and doula work is hard and owning a business is hard and I would love to hear from you The easiest way to connect with me is on Instagram.
If you have not already done that, you're not already following me, there's a link in the show notes, but also it's just at Haradula and Harad is spelled H-A-R-R-O-D as in dog. And it's all one word, Haradula.
If you search Kaylee Harad, you'll also probably find it, but Dula tips and tips, probably you'll also find it. But the link is in the show notes if you want to just go there. But I would really love to hear from you, like what do you really have going on in your life and how are you doing?
And it doesn't need to be fixed, but acknowledging it and being authentic about what's happening is a good step in the right direction. So I want to invite you to do that, like send me a voice memo, send me a DM, shoot me an email, like whatever works best for you.
Let me know how you're doing. And then if you haven't signed up for the workshop yet, it is happening next Tuesday. So May 20th is when it's happening now, 1pm Eastern still, still it's being recorded.
But like always, we're not going to record the Q&A time so that we can have kind of a more authentic chat about things. And so if you want to really dig into your own business during that Q&A time, make sure to come live.
But if you have a birth or you can't come live, obviously that replay will be available to you. Okay. All right. I wish you all the best in your very authentic digging into how you're feeling and I'll see you in the next episode.
Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula tips and tits podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at hara doula. So we can celebrate alongside you.
If you've found this podcast helpful, we would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast app that helps other doulas find us as we do this work together.
This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business.
We'll see you again soon.
Today’s Episode is sponsored by The Educated Birth. You can get 10% off The Educated Birth Binder right now with my code TIPSANDTITS at theeducatedbirth.store.
Grab your seat in the 90 day Doula Business Plan Masterclass!!! May 20th 1-2:30pm Eastern. Click below to sign up
https://harroddoulaservices.thrivecart.com/your-90-day-doula-business-plan-pod/
Showing up in your business is important, but it doesn’t always have to be perfect. We are humans! As doulas we need to give ourselves space to have crappy days and show up anyway. Or to take the day off because we feel like crap. And none of that means your business needs to be thrown away or even that you’re burning out. Just that you need a break.
Quote from the show:
“I am so exhausted and I spent 37 hours in a room with some Pitocin flowing. And my theory is that that makes me feel very much like my periods coming on and it might be coming on. Like it's hard to tell. I'm not super regular, so my body just feels a little funky sometimes off and on and I don't always know what's happening. So there's that and then emotionally Like my oldest kid turned 15, you know? And that's a lot. And then teenagers come with a lot of desires, like very strong desires to own different things and to have different things and to immediately be and do whatever you'd like to do and be and whatever. And so today I sort of was like, I don't know why I feel so funky. And my husband's like, you didn't sleep for like a day and a half last week. And then we've had a lot happening, like for a family that lays low on the weekends, unless I'm teaching a class, like we don't run around all weekend doing stuff, right?”
ASK A QUESTION!!! My plan is to start Friday Q&A (we need a new name, I know!) but first I need your questions! Submit them using the form below:
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/ask-me-a-question
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