10 Lessons from My First 10 BirthsPart 2 of 5

• Transcript

  Kaely Harrod 00:04

  Welcome to doula Tips and Tits. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago. I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, lovely cheerleader and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business, it is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way. Thank you for joining us on this journey. Welcome back to episode number two of 10 lessons I learned from my first 10 births. Now, these are number three and four. So the first was eat. The second was P, if you want to listen to that, and you haven't listened to it yet, go back to the last episode and do that. Today's are number three, which is rarely a rush, let yourself go back to sleep. And number four, always have your bag ready. And I know that might sound like those two things contradict each other, but I'm going to dive into them a little bit more thoroughly. So number three, it's rarely a rush. What I mean by this is when you first become a doula, especially when you're attending birth, sometimes waiting for that call that your your client is in labor can be like, really, really, really exhausting. Now, what I remember this since this is my lessons, right? My I remember a particular client. I don't remember what number she was maybe three. I think client number three, because I've gotten called to a couple, no, maybe number four, because I've gotten called to a couple backups. But she was one of the first people who actively chose me as her doula, even though I was pretty early. So she she like meant a lot to me. Right? And she was overdue by maybe like, I mean, over her her due date, you know, by maybe a week, maybe less. And I was just antsy for her to give birth, like I was just like, come on, you know, give birth, like, go into labor. I'm not telling her that, of course. But feeling that very much myself. And my partner, my husband was out of town for one weekend. So I had a dear friend who was with me staying overnight, just in case she went into labor so that she could be with the kids while he was gone. And that was great. Because she did go into labor that night. So she called me maybe like, I don't know, in the evening sometime. She was having early labor. Like really, I shouldn't have been so antsy because she didn't need me until probably like four in the morning or something like a long time later. But I remember just being like, oh my gosh, she's in labor, okay, and I like big cinnamon rolls. I put way too much baking soda in them. They were horrible. But I felt like very productive, which my friend was just like go to sleep, maybe like maybe you should sleep because you're about to go to a berth. And I was like, I can't I have so much energy. I have so much adrenaline. So I like made cinnamon rolls got everything ready. Like what if I fall asleep? And then I don't hear her call me. And so my dear friend was like, Why don't you leave your phone? By me. I'll stay awake. You sleep for like an hour. And then I'll give you your phone back. So then if she calls out No, and I can bring it into you. Right? She did not call while I was sleeping. I slept for like maybe an hour, maybe two at the most. And then my friend was like, okay, you know, here's your phone. And I was like, Oh, she's gonna call in a second, you know. And then she did finally call me and have me come in. And I was with her for like 16 hours. So I was exhausted when I got done because I hadn't really slept before I went to her. But I kind of slept like a decent chunk of time, like at least five or six hours, you know, but I could not get my brain to shut off. So part of what I think is important to note about this is a sometimes that's going to happen and that's okay. Like there are gonna be times when you are like so excited that someone is in labor, that you can't really turn your brain off. That's fine. If you can't sleep, at least rest your body because the work that's required at a birth is a lot of work physically. The second thing is that really it is not a rush. So if someone calls you they're having some contractions, you aren't urgently out of time. In most cases, so what I tend to do is kind of make sure I tentatively have things ready. If like, I'm concerned that two people might go into labor at once I like check with some backups, make sure my food is in my bag, things like that. And then I try my hardest to do regular life until they actually need me. Because I want to normalize for them, the fact that this is not urgent. And also, I want to prioritize my own rest and connection with my kiddos and things like that. That means at this point in my life, which granted, I'm many, many, many, many, many births beyond where I was when I couldn't sleep with that, that one client, I can get a call at 3am and go right back to sleep. And I can be like, amazing, you're in labor, yay, you and then be like, Call me when things get more intense, or call me whatever. And I will even say to a client, I'm going to rest I'm going to sleep again, for when you need me so that I'm rested when you do need me. So don't text me Call me when you're ready for me to come. Right. So I kind of set myself up to to know that I'm not going to miss it. I'm not gonna like somehow sleep through their labor. But I am going to be much more rested when I go in. And sometimes I get like seven or eight hours asleep. Like sometimes it's a long time before they really need me. And I'll wake up like, wait a second, why am I still here? Are you Are you guys okay? And they're like, oh, yeah, it's still just kind of going along, like, nothing really has changed. And I'm like, gosh, I could have really waited up all night with absolutely no change, and you don't need me. And instead, I got a whole night of sleep, which I'm thrilled about. So that's number three. So number four, always have your bag ready. Now. This lesson came because I had joined an agile agency. So I began my Doula journey, as a doula to a friend. And then I joined an agency. And so the agency, I felt like you know, I didn't, I felt very out of my league in terms of having business documents in place, and all that kind of stuff. Even just being a business. Like I didn't form my, my actual private business for a couple of months after I became a doula, because I just felt like very intimidated by it. And so I joined an agency. And I was like, waiting, waiting, waiting to get a consultation and to have someone hire me. What I didn't really think about is that I could get called into a backup birth. And I was like, really shocked honestly, the first time I got called, they're like, hey, this clients in labor, are you free? And I was kind of like, I mean, yeah, I think I guess I'm free. I don't know. And also, I'm like, shoot, I don't have anything ready because I wasn't expecting to go to a birth because I don't have any clients, right. So if you're in a scenario where you could get called in as a backup doula, if you're in an agency, that is usually the case, if you have other friends or family members, who are doulas who are like potentially going to call you as a backup, you need to be ready for that. So have your bag ready to go. And also, this lesson is for when a birth goes faster than expected. So there are times when you get to rest for eight hours, right? And there are times where someone calls you and then you're like, oh, man, okay, I need to go to you right this minute. And there's kind of every variation in between those two times, right? So having a bag that is dedicated to doula work and has your things in it, and has a certain number of things that you maybe add to it, but also just some of your doula stuff is there is very important. Now I will maybe do a whole episode later in, in the year at some point about what kind of things I like to have always ready to go in a doula bag. But I will say I have a dedicated backpack. That's like, this is my doula bag. It has all my stuff in it. It's a backpack that unzips completely so it like unzips and lies flat if that makes sense. It like opens all the way up like a suitcase and I have a snack bag that's like a little clip bag that is clipped to the arm of that backpack. And then I grab a water bottle so I don't really have much that I need to add to my bag except for my snacks. And so that bag is essentially ready to go all the time. Now sometimes I like use the have socks in there or something like that, and then I replenish it. But honestly, that bag is is really ready for me just to grab it and go out the door if needed. And that is what I recommend so that you've already kind of intentionally thought through what needs to be ready. Okay, so those are your two lessons for this week or this episode. Number one as a reminder was eat number two P number three, it's rarely a rush, you should go to sleep. And number four, always have your bag ready. All right, I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula Tips and Tits podcast. If you learned something today, or had an aha moment we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Herat doula, so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful. We would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast app that helps other doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment it is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business. We'll see you again soon.

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If you have not listened to the episode before this one, make sure to check in on tips one and two! Today we are diving into some of the third and fourth tips I learned at the beginning of my doula career. The real key to most of these tips is figuring out your priorities and making sure you are not completely putting yourself on the back burner.

Quote from the show:

“So part of what I think is important to note about this is a sometimes that's going to happen and that's okay. Like there are gonna be times when you are like so excited that someone is in labor, that you can't really turn your brain off. That's fine. If you can't sleep, at least rest your body because the work that's required at a birth is a lot of work physically. The second thing is that really it is not a rush. So if someone calls you they're having some contractions, you aren't urgently out of time. In most cases, so what I tend to do is kind of make sure I tentatively have things ready. If like, I'm concerned that two people might go into labor at once I like check with some backups, make sure my food is in my bag, things like that. And then I try my hardest to do regular life until they actually need me. Because I want to normalize for them, the fact that this is not urgent. And also, I want to prioritize my own rest and connection with my kiddos and things like that.”

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Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services

It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class

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