Doulas Do Not Have To Live Paycheck to Paycheck
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Transcript
Unknown speaker 00:04
Welcome to Dula Tips and Tits, the podcast where we cut through the noise and get real about what it takes to build a sustainable doula business. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been a doula informally for 14 years and full time for seven.
Unknown speaker 00:20
Around here, we don't sugarcoat stuff. We talk autonomy, owning your worth, creating a business that works for you. No fluff, no burnout, just the honest truth on how to be your own best boss. Let's get into today's episode.
Unknown speaker 00:36
Welcome back to Dula Tips and Tits. If I sound kind of hoarse today, it is because the last June baby of 2025 was born last night. And so I am officially off call until the early August baby comes. I think the first baby in August is going to be an August 4th C-section, but I don't know that for sure, of course, because these babies don't tell me when they're coming, but I am done for the whole month of July,
Unknown speaker 01:13
which I'm so excited about. That also means we're like going to see friends for a few days and get to go to the pool, like whenever we want to. I have some postpartum stuff that I'm still finishing up.
Unknown speaker 01:25
So I have a couple, I have a handful of shifts that are being finished up and I, of course, have some prenatal visits with people who are due in August and September, but I have nobody do, which is just awesome.
Unknown speaker 01:37
Makes me so happy. And I have childbirth classes still, so I am, I am working. I'm not entirely off, which is part of the goal, right? Like I'm, I'm not trying to have right now, at least a whole month of no work at all.
Unknown speaker 01:52
What I want is a whole month of nobody going into labor. And again, I don't control. control the August babies, right? Like if those babies decide to be July babies, I don't have a say in that, right?
Unknown speaker 02:06
And I will probably attend their births if they decide to be July babies, but they're not due right now. That's the break I've given myself is like, nobody should have a baby right now. So yes, they could go early in the August people, but also most likely they won't, none of them are so early in August that we expect them to be July babies.
Unknown speaker 02:28
So we'll see, but I am excited to have that June baby kind of be wrapped up. It was a lovely, wonderful, beautiful birth. The family is doing beautifully and it's been just a lovely start to the year in terms of doula work.
Unknown speaker 02:47
I think sometimes I don't talk enough about the fact that I still attend births. I'm a doula and a doula business strategist, so I do both. So, I'm still teaching and coaching from an actual hands-on place in the sense that I am also hanging out with my clients, getting called at 2 a.m., right?
Unknown speaker 03:06
That's still my life. I mean, I have a lot less clients than I used to have, but that's still the cadence of living that I'm in. So, if I sound a little scratchy, that's why. Today, we're going to talk about how your passion for your work and the way that you show up as a doula, as a birth worker, isn't mutually exclusive with being financially sustainable, right?
Unknown speaker 03:35
I think sometimes in this work, we think about, like, if my goal, if my heart is about passion of this work, the equity of this work, the justice of this work, the making birth safer kind of space, if that's where my heart is, that's not a place that makes a lot of money.
Unknown speaker 03:59
And then we have on the other side, people who are doing crazy unethical things and therefore making lots of money, and we kind of see it as a correlation where it's like, if I'm willing to do unethical things, if I'm willing to not care and not be focused on justice and equity, then I can make a lot of money.
Unknown speaker 04:20
But outside of that, I can't make a lot of money. That's just not true. It's just not true. And I think the more we believe that, the more we kind of perpetuate it, right? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy to some extent, because we almost are like, yeah, I show up for births for free, of course, because that's what doulas like me do.
Unknown speaker 04:46
And I'm like, okay, but also not. There are now ways to show up for births that would otherwise be free and get paid for them. And also the reality is that showing up at a birth for free is amazing, but that in and of itself is not sustainable if that's all you're doing, right?
Unknown speaker 05:12
You still can't sustain your own life while you work for free, but having people pay you for work doesn't equal you sell your soul and aren't passionate and aren't working towards equity and aren't working towards justice, right?
Unknown speaker 05:33
Like we have these huge conventions about black maternal health, about maternal health in general, about postpartum mental health, right? Like these massive conferences. People are paying money to go to the conferences.
Unknown speaker 05:49
People who are speaking in the conferences are getting paid to be there, right? And I don't say that, that's not a bad thing. Those people should be getting paid to be there. People should be paying to go, because that is how this kind of thing is sustainable.
Unknown speaker 06:07
It doesn't make their passion for making birth safer, making parenting healthier, bringing more awareness to postpartum mental health issues. That's not somehow tainted by the fact that they have a speaking fee, right?
Unknown speaker 06:28
So when we think about the way that we show up as doulas, as birth workers, we often are doing it in a way that we are desperately trying to keep our ethics and our morals intact. But in the meantime, instead of selling our souls, we're literally selling our bodies.
Unknown speaker 06:54
Like when we think about the unsustainable pieces of this work, part of it is the inability to physically sustain the kind of work that it is. So this is what I think about sometimes, right? Let's just have an analogy.
Unknown speaker 07:17
I know it's been the summer of analogy, and they have sometimes been amazing, and other times been real bad. But today, I believe in us. I believe in mostly my ability to make analogies. But I don't know.
Unknown speaker 07:30
We'll see. We'll play it out together. I trust that this is a safe space to not have good analogies, if that's the result of this. So let's say there's a chiropractor, right? There's a chiropractor who works in an area that's poverty-stricken.
Unknown speaker 07:48
So that chiropractor works for free. Doesn't get paid, but then can't afford to do chiropractic adjustments. for themselves, right? That chiropractor does that for many years, but then at some point, they injure themselves because of how they physically have to show up for the work.
Unknown speaker 08:07
The reality then is with certain injuries, a chiropractor cannot continue to be a chiropractor, not in the physical sense. They can't adjust someone's body if their body is injured. So that service, that necessary piece of those people's lives is now gone.
Unknown speaker 08:31
Why? Because that doctor wasn't able to sustain their own body, right? Now, there's lots of layers here. So I want to be clear about what I'm not saying. I'm not saying don't ever do services for free.
Unknown speaker 08:52
I'm not saying no one should ever have sliding scale or have lower cost payments or have any of that stuff. What I am saying is if that's the majority of what you're doing and you're not financially sustainable, you're the one who's going to eventually literally not be able to survive because you don't have enough money yourself.
Unknown speaker 09:16
And that does not get you to doing more doula services because you literally can't survive. And so there's a middle ground. I realize both of these things are extremes. The chiropractor never charges anyone anything.
Unknown speaker 09:38
Obviously that's not a typical scenario. Usually a chiropractor in that kind of scenario or a doula in this scenario would be able to have some people who are paying for packages and some people who aren't.
Unknown speaker 09:50
Right? But the problem is that we don't always do that well. And so then even how we're doing like sliding scale, for instance, or like we're pricing our packages way too low for the people who are paying us, right?
Unknown speaker 10:07
And so then we're barely getting paid by the people who have money and the people who don't have money are paying us nothing. And then still we're the suffering in between, right? Like there's still a space that is like, I can't do this.
Unknown speaker 10:22
And I just want us to live in that reality. Like you have needs. Your body and brain cannot function well without the security of your needs being met. Right? I have a business coach that I adore and she, one thing she says is money doesn't buy happiness, but it makes life.
Unknown speaker 10:54
life a lot easier, right? And she had a reel about this, it's been a very long time ago, so I don't even know where to find it and like link it in the show notes, but her reel was essentially like, my life is happier and easier because I have a lot of money.
Unknown speaker 11:13
And someone said something like in the comments, something like, well, yeah, except for trauma. And I commented on there and so did she like, yeah, except if you have trauma and a lot of money, you can pay for good therapy.
Unknown speaker 11:29
You can pay for different methods of like nervous system reset. You can pay for good support so that you're not the one like cleaning your house and cooking your food, right? Like they're still financially like, yes, having lots of money doesn't keep you from experiencing trauma.
Unknown speaker 11:45
Having lots of money doesn't keep you from having health issues, but it does ease the burdens that come with those things. right? It makes getting treatment for that easier. Now obviously, yes, no one is saying all you need is like millions of dollars and then you're good, right?
Unknown speaker 12:03
No. And we see on a regular basis how incredibly corrupt and terrible that is in our very world here in the USA, right? But the reality is the ability to show up well for our clients is also rooted in our ability to care for ourselves.
Unknown speaker 12:28
There is a bandwidth that is just bigger when we have our needs met. And yes, that starts with our most basic needs like food, shelter, safety, right? But then there's also a layer of like nourishing yourself, right?
Unknown speaker 12:47
Like not just like you eat to survive. I sometimes joke with childbirth students that some of these hospitals have turkey sandwiches for support people that one hospital in the area literally has the most stale disgusting bread with a single piece of turkey and then a packet of mayonnaise and a packet of mustard in a little box.
Unknown speaker 13:14
And it is the saddest meal you will ever eat, but it will keep your body alive, right? Like if you are there for 39 hours and you're like, I'm going to die if I don't eat and it's four in the morning and this is your only option, then it does the job, right?
Unknown speaker 13:31
Like it is food, but it is awful, you know? So there's a difference in having food to eat and having nourishment, right? There's a difference in having enough sleep and having good relaxing support, having good restorative practices in your life, right?
Unknown speaker 13:50
There's a difference and as doulas our standard for ourselves should not be survival, right? Like we should not be like, okay, I had some calories. That's all I need. It's just like some water and the driest turkey sandwich you've ever had in your life, right?
Unknown speaker 14:06
No, we also need like delicious food. We also need like love and safety and coziness, right? Like there are emotional needs and mental needs that are a part of us as humans, that it's more than just like, I'm surviving.
Unknown speaker 14:21
And the reality is we kind of put ourselves into a savior role if we think we can keep people safe, support them well when we are absolutely wasting away. Like no one is asking that of you. No one needs you that badly, right?
Unknown speaker 14:41
That's not how this is right now. And so part of what needs to shift in order for our businesses to have more sustainability is our own mindset about ourselves, like someone can give birth without you.
Unknown speaker 14:59
That doesn't mean that you're not doing awesome things going to birth and supporting people, right? Like, I think you're amazing. I think doulas are amazing, but we are not the only person available to sustain people.
Unknown speaker 15:18
And if we carry that burden, we will be the ones who suffer. This needs to be a longer conversation because I think sometimes I sometimes with my children, I'm like, after this, we need to pause and revisit this at another time, either because it's like midnight or because I'm like getting really frustrated or whatever, right?
Unknown speaker 15:45
So I'm kind of like, listen, this is the last part of this that we're going to talk about tonight. So that's kind of where I am in this podcast. We're going to pause here and pick this up in the next episode because I think really what this episode was going to be about is how to do that, right?
Unknown speaker 16:03
What does it look like to be sustainable? But actually, I think first, you just need to be convinced that you deserve to be sustained. Like you, my friend, dear doula, please, for the love of God, you need to make money.
Unknown speaker 16:17
You need to have what you need to not just survive, but to thrive. You deserve that. Like you deserve a lovely life. And your sacrifice of your soul and body is not necessary in this work. Like it should not take away who you are and cut into your own thriving to be a doula.
Unknown speaker 16:46
Okay. Now I'm going to pause here and then we're going to pick up next. week with an episode that is the second half of this because it's a longer conversation. In the meantime, like always, I'd love to hear from you.
Unknown speaker 17:05
If you are not yet connected with me on Instagram, at Harad Dula is my Instagram handle. Harad is spelled H-A-R-R-O-D, so like to find me, tell me what you are working on, what you are thriving in, and how this resonated with you.
Unknown speaker 17:28
All right, I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Dula Tips and Tits podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us.
Unknown speaker 17:44
So we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful, we would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast app. That helps other doulas find us as we do this work together.
Unknown speaker 18:00
This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business.
Unknown speaker 18:11
We'll see you again soon.
ASK A QUESTION!!! My plan is to start Friday Q&A (we need a new name, I know!) but first I need your questions! Submit them using the form below:
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/ask-me-a-question
Being a passion-driven doula does not equal being broke dear doula! Open your eyes and mind to the possibility of great financial sustainability AND passion and ethics in this work. We can be about justice and equity and support from a place of passion. Both can be true at once.
Quote from the show:
“Sometimes in this work, we think about, like, if my goal, if my heart is about passion of this work, the equity of this work, the justice of this work, the making birth safer kind of space, if that's where my heart is, that's not a place that makes a lot of money. And then we have on the other side, people who are doing crazy unethical things and therefore making lots of money, and we kind of see it as a correlation where it's like, if I'm willing to do unethical things, if I'm willing to not care and not be focused on justice and equity, then I can make a lot of money.”
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
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If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Doula Tips and Tits is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Doula Biz Blueprint Self-Paced Class for Doulas Launching Successful and Sustainable Businesses!
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
