Passion Does Not Equal Broke! Getting Paid As a Doula
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Transcript
Unknown speaker 00:04
Welcome to Dula Tips and Tits, the podcast where we cut through the noise and get real about what it takes to build a sustainable doula business. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been a doula informally for 14 years and full time for seven.
Unknown speaker 00:20
Around here, we don't sugarcoat stuff. We talk autonomy, owning your worth, creating a business that works for you. No fluff, no burnout, just the honest truth on how to be your own best boss. Let's get into today's episode.
Unknown speaker 00:37
Welcome back to Dula Tips and Tits. This is 2.0 of episode from last week. So if you didn't listen to last week's episode already, please go listen to it. Just pause, go back, listen, come back to this one because this is the second half of that.
Unknown speaker 00:53
So last episode was going to be a whole conversation on how we can be both passionate and also financially sustainable, right? And it ended up being kind of like a pep talk of why you need to just believe that before you can actually put it into action.
Unknown speaker 01:11
So part of what I think about when we think about sustainability is that in general, doulas are not a monolith, right? So we're not just one person that all think the same and do the same thing. So when I say this, just know that it has a huge asterisk, depending on who you are and how you show up and how you function as a person, right?
Unknown speaker 01:39
So oftentimes in general, doulas tend to be givers, right? That means we fall into the category of people who will like give our own, like, you know, when the phrase, like you'll give the shirt off your own back, right?
Unknown speaker 01:57
Like, but then you're the one that's shirtless kind of situation. Now, if you're like, oh, I have loads of shirts at home, you can have this one. That's a different scenario than like, I only have this one shirt and I gave it to you.
Unknown speaker 02:08
We are not going to get into like spiritual conversations about this, moral conversations about like this. Think what you want. I am personally a person of like, you asked me for something and I have the thing to help you.
Unknown speaker 02:22
I'm going to help you. Like I'm not like, you should know where it's going. You should know why they need your help. You should know. No. I'm like, you need five bucks. I got you girl. Like you asked me for money for your kids diapers.
Unknown speaker 02:33
I'm sending you extra money. Why? Because maybe also buy yourself some chocolate, like having kids is hard, right? Like you have babies in diapers. Are you kidding me? Buy diapers and also a soda for yourself for fun because you deserve it.
Unknown speaker 02:46
You know? So, so that's just, just know that that is the space I'm coming from. However, when we think about being someone who is a giver. It's really easy to feel like we shouldn't be transactional in that giving.
Unknown speaker 03:07
And what that looks like is it's hard to charge money for what we do. Because we're passionate about what we do. We love what we do. We're doing something that we enjoy doing. We're even doing something that we feel privileged to do.
Unknown speaker 03:23
Like I know when I'm present at a birth, I'm like, thank you so much for trusting me enough to be present with you. It is an honor to get to be here watching you in your awesome power of delivering a baby.
Unknown speaker 03:35
You don't have to have me here. All of that can still be true and you can be charging enough money to survive well. And you can be having services that sustain your life. And you can have boundaries that are like, I can't go to any more births right now.
Unknown speaker 04:00
I have too many people do and I need to say no to you. All of that can exist together. And I think sometimes as doulas, it is really easy for us to feel like our own boundaries. And our boundaries, let me just finish and then I will.
Unknown speaker 04:20
I tend to interrupt myself when I am tired and I am recording this part two of this podcast immediately after recording part one of this podcast, which was last week's podcast, because I'm recording all these podcasts in June so that I can not record podcasts in July and August.
Unknown speaker 04:38
So I'm a little sleepy. It's the moral of that story. And now I lost my train of thought because I interrupted myself too many times. So when we think about boundary setting, part of what I'm thinking about is.
Unknown speaker 04:59
Boundary setting in that you have a price that you want to get paid to show up for something. Boundary setting is also, it's sometimes like, I no longer attend births at this hospital. It's sometimes like, I only do prenatal visits during the daytime.
Unknown speaker 05:15
Or it's sometimes like, my availability is only from 10 to two for postpartum shifts. So if you want overnight shifts, I'm going to refer you to someone else. Boundary setting is all different kinds of things.
Unknown speaker 05:31
But naturally, when we set a boundary or a limit in our lives, it impacts other people. And that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes it can feel like, okay, if someone is struggling and they want a shift on Sunday, but I don't work on Sundays, I should put their struggle ahead of my...
Unknown speaker 05:59
not working on Sundays, right? And I really want you to hear me say this. Yes, it is beautiful that our businesses can be flexible. It is awesome that you work for yourself and you can decide if you're going to work on Sundays or not.
Unknown speaker 06:18
What's not awesome is deciding Sundays your day off and then not actually honoring that, right? Every time you say yes to something that is outside your boundaries, you are saying no to yourself. And imagine the impact of that.
Unknown speaker 06:41
If you're saying to your parent, for instance, I mean, if you are a parent, let's say, and your kid is coming to you and saying, hey, mommy, I really want to spend the evening with you. I want us to go out and just the two of us.
Unknown speaker 06:55
And you're like, oh, amazing. I would love that, right? And then someone's like, I'm having a really hard evening. My life is really challenging right now. I need your support. And then you say, okay, I'm going to come see you, friend, because you're having a really hard time.
Unknown speaker 07:12
Your kid is like, oh, okay, well, you said you were going to hang out with me, right? But now you're hanging out with them instead. Now, as doulas, we sometimes have to do this because babies come, right?
Unknown speaker 07:23
And so we're just like, shit, I'm so sorry, kid. I can't. And honestly, this is my kid's least favorite part of this work. Like, Emrys, my daughter, she... Gosh, when was it? I guess it was yesterday when I was going to the...
Unknown speaker 07:39
I told her on Saturday, my client might go into labor. She was like, we have... No, it was the baby before this. That's what it was. Because I had a baby come last week too. So it was on Wednesday. I said, my client's in labor.
Unknown speaker 07:52
I'm going to have to go in at some point. And it was Tuesday evening when we were having that conversation. I didn't end up going until the middle of... night on Wednesday. So she went to bed with me saying, you might wake up and I might be gone.
Unknown speaker 08:05
And then she was like, that's not fair. I want to do stuff tomorrow. And I'm like, you can still do stuff tomorrow. And she's like, I want to do stuff with you tomorrow. And I was like, we didn't have any plans.
Unknown speaker 08:17
And she's like, but we could have. I was like, what? Like, yeah, but we can also do that another day. And she's like, but I don't want to be fast. And she's a repeat client. So she enjoys hearing stories about Emrys.
Unknown speaker 08:33
So I shared that with her and she was laughing because I'm like, now Emrys gets her way. Like I'm getting home at like 1030 in the morning, you know, and she's like, well, enjoy your time doing whatever you do with Emrys, because now she has all the availability to hang out with you because my baby came back, you know.
Unknown speaker 08:51
But part of what I think about in this work is that like It is easier sometimes for us to be like, oh, I can't do that. I already told my kid I was going to hang out with them, right? Oh, I can't do that.
Unknown speaker 09:03
I already have another family I'm seeing on Tuesday. Like I can't have you in the class because I'm not allowed to have more than six people in that room. Nobody else fits. Like those are boundaries that in some ways are easier to hold.
Unknown speaker 09:16
But if we're saying like, I can't come to your house on Sunday because I'm giving myself the day to rest, we don't do well with that, right? Like that's not something we do great with or like I charge this much money for my package and don't let people pay me less than that.
Unknown speaker 09:36
People really don't like that kind of boundary like you doulas don't like that kind of boundary. I'm not saying your clients don't like it. I'm saying you don't do a good job like doulas struggle with that.
Unknown speaker 09:48
Right. But when we bend those things, we are the ones that suffer and it's not necessary to have a boundary list life to show up in a way that is making massive positive change. It's actually way more possible to make massive positive change when you are keeping yourself going.
Unknown speaker 10:15
Like the phrase of like you can't pour from an empty cup that applies here. Right. Like that is a thing that is a thing that we should also be considering in terms of our work as doulas because it is part of the reality of how humans show up.
Unknown speaker 10:33
Okay. So that is all for today. If you have not listened to last week's podcast, you need to go and do that because those these two go together. And then if you're not yet, if you have not yet submitted a question for the Friday Q&A podcast episodes, please do that.
Unknown speaker 10:50
That link is in the show notes. And then as always connect with me on Instagram so I can. hear what you're liking best about the show and how it is changing and helping you grow in your business. All right.
Unknown speaker 11:01
I will see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Dula Tips and Tits podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at hiradula so we can celebrate alongside you.
Unknown speaker 11:19
If you've found this podcast helpful, we would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast app. That helps other Dulas find us as we do this work together.
Unknown speaker 11:32
This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business.
Unknown speaker 11:44
We'll see you again soon.
ASK A QUESTION!!! My plan is to start Friday Q&A (we need a new name, I know!) but first I need your questions! Submit them using the form below:
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/ask-me-a-question
We are givers. That is a superpower. But it also can be an excuse to not charge more and be sustainable ourselves! If you are slowly wasting away you are serving NO ONE well. I need you to take that seriously with me please.
Quote from the show:
“So part of what I think about when we think about sustainability is that in general, doulas are not a monolith, right? So we're not just one person that all think the same and do the same thing. So when I say this, just know that it has a huge asterisk, depending on who you are and how you show up and how you function as a person, right? So oftentimes in general, doulas tend to be givers, right? That means we fall into the category of people who will like give our own, like, you know, when the phrase, like you'll give the shirt off your own back, right? Like, but then you're the one that's shirtless kind of situation. Now, if you're like, oh, I have loads of shirts at home, you can have this one. That's a different scenario than like, I only have this one shirt and I gave it to you.”
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Doula Tips and Tits is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Doula Biz Blueprint Self-Paced Class for Doulas Launching Successful and Sustainable Businesses!
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
