Holding Boundaries in Your Business!
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Kaely Harrod 00:04
Welcome to doula Tips and Tits. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula
work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaely Harrod. I've been supporting
families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago. I am a birth and
postpartum doula childbirth educator, La Leche League Leader, and a doula coach. I love guiding and
supporting doulas as they work out their doula business, it is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way.
Thank you for joining us on this journey.
Kaely Harrod 00:39
Welcome back to doula Tips and Tits. This episode is kind of a sister episode to the last one. So if you
have not listened yet to the episode about being your own best boss, I would stop this and go back and
listen to that one first, and then come back here. So today we're diving into holding boundaries in
business, and also setting boundaries in business. So first, in order to hold them, you have to have
them set right now the last episode, we were talking about you being your own best boss, and what that
looks like for you and and how you kind of honor your needs and, and desires and things like that. So in
that sense, that is setting and holding boundaries for yourself. Right? So that's kind of one category, I
want to think about, I want you to think about, I want us to think together about a few different
categories of holding boundaries. So the first one is essentially what we talked about in the last
episode, holding boundaries in the sense that you set your business up to be something where you are
honored and respected and not just working yourself to the bone, right? Because no amount of money
is worth that. The second kind of category of boundaries is boundaries around your business. So think
about like things like legality, things like paying like business taxes and business fees and and reporting
your income accurately. And the way that you approach doula work. So things like your ethics or your
justice stances, right, your, your inclusion stances, your
Kaely Harrod 02:30
accessibility stance, like things like that, think about what things matter to you in business, and do you
hold those boundaries? Now, for me personally, it is way easier for me to hold those boundaries than it
is for me to not to hold the boundaries around like my own my own needs and desires, right? So one
way I'll explain this is, oftentimes, I have a mindset of like, I can get this done some other time. Now, I
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai
don't That sounds a little bit procrastination ish. But it's not as much that it's more that like, it's fine. I'll
figure it out and get it done. Right. So it's not as much like I'll do it later, it's more like, I'll take on more
than I actually have the capacity for, right. And I remember in college being like, it's not a problem, I can
handle it, I'll do it by myself. And I know part of that is like self preservation, part of that is controlling
part of that is type a right, there's a little mix of everything there. But also, part of that is essentially
saying like my need to rest and have downtime and, and like eat well and take good care of my body,
those things don't come first, they come second or third, right. And so if I continue to have that mindset
throughout life, I'm of course bringing that into my business as well. Right? So I'm on the journey of of
changing that mindset and all of life and also in my business. Because it's really easy for me to be like I
have 1000 things to finish. And so I will stay up late tonight and finish them, because I like having the
things done, right. And so that is not a sustainable way to do business. And that's something I'm
working on. That's my own boundary that I don't do well with, is having a cut off time when I will not
work any longer, right? And really honoring the fact that this work doesn't ever completely finish, right.
Like there just is always more work to do. So when you're thinking about business boundaries, I want
you to think about a couple of different things and think about like what are the regulations and
requirements of the type of business that you have? What are the regulations and requirements of
maybe your training organization if they have a code of ethics, for instance? And also like what are
some of the Your personal ethics or standards or like pillars, like important things that are in your
business? And do you honor those? Right? The next category I want you to think about is boundaries
with clients. Now, this is a little bit. I don't know, I don't think it's tricky. But it can be tricky. Because it
depends a little bit on whether your boundaries are your preferences, or they are, like, illegal to do,
right. So like, as a doula, we have a scope of practice. And there are things that are clearly outside our
scope. So then those things are things that we are not supposed to be doing, right. So that's a
boundary that in some ways can be easier to set and hold in for me in my business, because I'm like,
oh, yeah, doulas aren't allowed to do that, right? Like, I sometimes joke. Joke with clients, when they're
babies are coming pretty quickly, that like, I'm not supposed to catch babies, right? Like, that's not my
role. That's like, ideally, not what I'm doing here. Now, I haven't ever had to catch a baby. Thankfully, I
came very close recently. But I always say that to folks, like that is not my primary role here. That's not
something that I'm trained in. That's not my role at all. And so I'm trying not to do that, right. Like, I'm
not trying to catch babies, because that's not what I'm supposed to do. And also, that's not what I'm
trained to do safely, right. Like, I don't have the skills to do that. That's why I'm not a midwife. That's
why I'm not an OB, right. That's why I don't have those, like different specialties that are safe and
trained to do that part of this work. So that is easier for me in some ways, then things like, overnights
are really hard for my body. And so I don't do them, or this is one that I really struggle with is having a
day off. And having a client that really wants to shift on that day. Because there is an urgency a little bit
to someone who's like a brand spanking new parent who's really struggling. And they're like, I really,
really need some support this week. And then I'm like, Yeah, but I also have some needs this week,
right. And so it's really easy for me to make exceptions in that scenario, all the time. Now, there are
situations where it makes sense to make an exception, right, like you just had your baby, your home
today is the first day you're home, I will squeeze you in, right. But if you're like doing great, your family's
doing great. And you want a weekend shift, when I don't usually do postpartum shifts on the weekends,
I need to honor that and hang out with my kids and hang out with my partner and be home relaxing.
Because ultimately, what I'm doing when I do that is I'm not holding the boundary of spending time with
my family, I am instead holding the boundary of giving my clients more time than I even have set out to give them that aim and set the expectation to give them right because I usually tell clients, I only work
during school hours for postpartum shifts. So that's something that they hire me understanding. So if
they're asking for a shift, and I'm all of a sudden offering them a Sunday afternoon, that's not even part
of what they expect, necessarily, right? And so in those scenarios, I think it can sometimes be really
tricky to set a boundary and hold it because we feel a little like we're letting someone down. And
sometimes they feel like we're letting them down and that it's even harder, right? But the reality is that if
you don't hold that boundary, you're letting yourself down. And so that's also not okay, and it should be
something that feels icky to do. Because we need to flex the muscle of honoring ourselves better.
Okay, so I want you to kind of take some time to think those through we have first the category of
boundaries with yourself like your own best boss kind of boundaries, the second boundaries with your
business, like what are the standards that you'll hold? And what things will you and will you not do? And
then a third boundaries of clients, meaning, you know, how will you interact with them? What kind of
care do you give? Or can you give, are you willing to give what things are ethically and safely part of
your job? But also, what are some personal boundaries that you hold with clients and how do you keep
those strong? Okay. Oh, I just thought of one. So, this is my own personal example that just popped
into my head. So with clients, this might sound very obvious, but I do not do postpartum shifts when
someone in the family has a fever. Because my own kids go to school and so and I'm of course like
Attending births and also during postpartum care. So if I get sick, the cost to me and my family is
significant. And also if I get sick, and I have germs and I don't know, I have germs yet and I go to other
families, the cost to those families is also significant. So I have a firm boundary that if a client has a
fever, or the the sibling has a fever, or the baby has a fever, whoever is ill, with a fever, I do not go to
them. And so that's just an example of a boundary that I set with clients that I do a pretty good job of
holding. But I have occasionally had a client that like really needed a shift. And I was like, Oh, I'm so
sorry. I can support you virtually if you'd like. But I cannot come to you, because I have a hard rule that
I can't come when someone in the family is feverish. So I hope that helps you kind of start down the
path of brainstorming. And I will see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of
the doula Tips and Tips podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for
you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Herat doula, so we can celebrate alongside you. If you
found this podcast helpful. We would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and review on
your favorite podcast app that helps other doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is
intended as educational and entertainment it is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult
your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business. We'll see
you again soon.
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This is a sister episode to the one before, so if you haven’t listened to that yet, go give it a listen! We will be discussing the boundaries that come with the privilege of owning your own business. Setting boundaries, especially for those who are people pleasers, can be difficult. We will be diving into tips and tricks for setting boundaries not only with clients but with yourself.
Quote from the show:
“Because it depends a little bit on whether your boundaries are your preferences, or they are, like, illegal to do, right. So like, as a doula, we have a scope of practice. And there are things that are clearly outside our scope. So then those things are things that we are not supposed to be doing, right. So that’s a boundary that in some ways can be easier to set and hold in for me in my business, because I’m like, oh, yeah, doulas aren’t allowed to do that, right? Like, I sometimes joke. Joke with clients, when they’re babies are coming pretty quickly, that like, I’m not supposed to catch babies, right? Like, that’s not my role. That’s like, ideally, not what I’m doing here. Now, I haven’t ever had to catch a baby. Thankfully, I came very close recently. But I always say that to folks, like that is not my primary role here. That’;s not something that I’m trained in. That’s not my role at all. And so I’m trying not to do that, right. Like, I’m not trying to catch babies, because that’s not what I’m supposed to do. And also, that’s not what I’mtrained to do safely, right.”
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Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
